


make the yuletide gay

by RottenKidNextDoor (PortalofWords)



Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: Carlos is a Dork, Carlos-centric, Christmas Fluff, Jay is a good boyfriend, M/M, brief mention of auradon's fucked up homophobia, carlos is really super gay, cute core four dynamics too, gay assholes, he's got a sort of diary, sarcastic carlos de vil, there is some cursing so fair warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 11:29:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16891749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PortalofWords/pseuds/RottenKidNextDoor
Summary: Carlos de Vil does not have a diary.He is also not completely stumped on what to get his boyfriend for Christmas.And just so long as he's making a list of untrue things, he's also not totally, super gay.orA series of diary entries from the boy genius (attempting) to navigate the Auradon Christmas season.





	make the yuletide gay

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little bit of Christmas fluff :) 
> 
> I hope everyone is having a great December so far! I'm wishing you a Happy Whatever You Celebrate :) <3 
> 
> Enjoy!

_ December 6th _

 

Let me just start by saying that  this is not a diary . 

It’s a scientist’s journal full of observations, patterns, and theories. Every good scientist has one… at least, that’s what I’ve read. So now I do, too. Just… sometimes the patterns and observations I track in here about might stray away from the generic physics and quantum mechanics. Still not a diary, though. 

Christmas here in Auradon is strange, FYI. Really fucking strange. I mean, I always wondered what the holidays here would have to be like in order to generate as many boatloads of shit that come over onto the island every year. 

But still. I don’t think I expected this. 

Everyone keeps hugging and laughing and singing, and I can’t really handle it. I think I prefer Christmas in our hideout on the Isle of Fucking Leftovers. It was cold and brutal, but at least I didn’t have to interact with anyone socially. Except Jay and the girls, of course. But they don’t give me that same drained feeling after, so they don’t really count. 

 

I should probably go force Jay out of the shower now. Because sometimes, your boyfriend is a little bitch and hogs the hot water for hours. But I guess I forgive him. Mostly because he’s hot when he’s all wet. 

Alright. 

 

Signing off, 

Carlos O. de Vil

  
  


 

///

 

 

 

_ December 10th  _

 

Apparently, the land of tolerance and goodness doesn’t really tolerate everyone. I overheard some of the guys teasing each other in the locker rooms about how “slapping each other’s asses is so gay” and how “all little gay boys are twinks”. I’m not surprised. It’s so traditional here. Kings and Queens, and female occupations and male occupations and I swear, if I see someone using a quill one more time I might snap it.  Not that I have anything against quills, they’re actually kinda cool; it’s just this place keeps trying to hold onto their golden ages or something… aka the fucking Middle Ages. 

Jay and I talked about all this last night. When we sit and pass the beer bottle back and forth, it makes it all seem so unimportant, you know? So small, so distant. Maybe that’s why I like him so much. Stuff that bothers me about the world makes sense with him. Or at least doesn’t make me wanna curl into a ball and hyperventilate.

Not that I can tell anyone here, apparently. At least not without saying “no homo”. Fucking Auradon bullshit. 

 

Jay is throwing balled up paper at me right now trying to get me to notice him. I’m pretending I don’t. 

...

Okay, fine, he got the new video game that just came out. I guess that warrants attention.

 

Regards,

C. O. de Vil

  
  


 

///

 

 

 

_ December 13th _

 

Jay woke me up at six a.m. to tell me that it was snowing. I almost kicked him in the balls, but then I realized that Auradon snow isn’t like our snow back home. It’s white. And the air is clear, so you can see it without having to make out the icy flakes through the smoggy haze. So I guess his balls are safe. For now. 

He’s asking me why I’m laughing, but I don’t think I’m going to tell him. He’s cute when he gets riled up. 

Sometimes it sucks that I can’t tell people we’re together. We just have to go out into the world and pretend to be “bros”. Hey bro. How’s it going bro. I sucked your dick last night bro. 

It just doesn’t have the same ring, does it? 

It’s fine though. He flirts with girls. I actively ignore them. It works for us, I suppose. Ben made a comment the other day about how the two of us were “as close as brothers”. I sure hope not. That would be fucking weird. 

 

I have to go walk Dude. I’m gonna drag Jay with me. He’s lying on the floor right now. Don’t ask me why. He does that sometimes when he’s procrastinating homework and wants me to do it for him. I think he’s pretending to blend in with the carpet. Mal stepped on him last week, and I laughed so hard I fell off the bed. 

 

Cordially,

C.O.D.V. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
///

 

 

 

_ December 17th _

  
  


First off: hot chocolate is a drink of the Gods, the most magical liquid, and I can’t believe I went fifteen years without tasting it. 

Second: I had to sit through an hour and a half of a professor today telling us about the “perfect union of marriage” and about “true love’s kiss” and how - get this - “upstanding boys and girls should aspire to find their one true love” (of the opposite sex, of course. Because how dare a boy find another guy attractive. I don’t know, I guess I’m biased.)  

I just - you’re telling me that there are boys out there who don’t look at Jay and think, fuck, he’s hot? I don’t believe it. On the Isle, they didn’t make rules about  _ love.  _ Probably because there aren’t any rules period and, well, there’s not a lot of love, either. But there was sex. And lots of it. With literally anyone. I swear, I saw some fucked up things living there that I have no intention of writing down. But boys with boys? Expected, commonplace, everyday… just so long as there weren’t emotions involved - a rule that Jay and I expertly smashed into pieces. 

We didn’t mean to. It just sorta happened. 

 

Jay is reading over my shoulder and wants me to add that he did not fall in love and that he does not partake in romantic things. (Keep this between us, but he’s the biggest sucker for cuddling I’ve ever met. He’s always made up excuses to touch me). AND NOW I HAVE TO ADD “NOT LIKE THAT” BECAUSE HIS MIND IS DIRTIER THAN THE ISLE STREETS. 

 

Gotta go punch him. Or kiss him. Maybe both. 

 

Yours respectfully, 

Carlos D.V.

  
  
  


 

///

 

 

 

_ December 21st  _

 

Been thinking about what to get Jay for Christmas. Mal was easy - I just got her a bunch of new art supplies (yes, including spray paint. She’s Mal, not Monet). And Evie was pretty easy, too - I got her a few rolls of that sparkly fabric she’s been saving for. 

But Jay is harder. (Jay wants me to add a lewd joke here. I will not. Also he needs to leave because I’m writing about his gift).

 

Okay. I chased him away. Back to his gift. I think he’d like new tourney gear, but the girls are already giving him a bunch of that crap. And besides, that doesn’t really scream “boyfriends but we can’t tell anyone except Mal and Evie because Auradon is irrationally homophobic” does it? 

I’m kind of cutting it close with the time, aren’t I? Only a few days left before Christmas.

Maybe I should go with a new gold chain - he likes those because it makes him feel rich. Don’t tell him I said that. See, he would like new clothes, but Evie makes all of our wardrobes (and tell me again why I’d want him to put on clothes, anyway? Yeah, didn’t think so. If he runs out of clothes, so be it. At least I get to stare for a bit while he hunts around for a semi-clean shirt).

 

It’s late and Jay is climbing in next to me. He can’t read about his present, so I’m finishing here for the evening. 

 

Goodnight, 

C.D.V. 

  
  


 

 

///

 

 

 

 

_ December 23rd _

  
  


Well shit. 

It’s the day before Christmas Eve, and I haven’t gotten him anything. He keeps bragging that I’m gonna love my gift, but I think he’s bluffing. I’m pretty good at catching his lies (even though no one else is). I bet he hasn’t bought anything yet, either. 

I had a good idea for his gift yesterday, but I can’t remember what it was. Evie says that I should get him jewelry. I think that’s a pretty good idea, seeing as Mal said to give him a jar of dirt. 

Maybe I’ll go out early tomorrow and see if the shops in town have anything for him. It has to be special, you know? It’s the first year our gifts to each other won’t be food or blankets or something grabbed out of the trash. 

Maybe I’m just overcomplicating this. 

 

Sincerely yours, 

Carlos Oscar d.V.

  
  
  
  
  
  


///

 

 

 

 

_ December 24th _

 

I did it. 

I got his gift. 

I have to write this quickly before he comes home, but I’m just too excited to wait. Maybe a little nervous, too. I went to Ben, right? Because all the Auradon jewelry was just too shiny for him; he’s not a prince (except maybe the prince of thieves). 

But Ben said he thought he might have something, and I mean, as part of his royal kept-in-the-kings-possession-super-special-storehouse or something. He took me into this huge archive in the basement of the museum where they’ve apparently collected artifacts from all over Auradon for years and years. And then he let me have one of them! (apparently, kings can do whatever the hell they want). 

Of course, I offered to pay everything that I have but apparently Ben has a problem with me paying for stuff. It’s fine, I’ll just pay him when he’s not looking. I have a little cash from walking some of the other kids dogs over the holidays (Auradon kids don’t like cold. Or work). Even though eighty dollars isn’t going be anywhere near the true value of what I picked. I still don’t think Ben was supposed to let me have it, but it’s too late now. 

 

Anyway, anyway, back to what I picked out. The archive had a whole section of Agrabah jewelry. And so, I found his cobra bangle dating back to the very first sultan. It’s tarnished, but strong and gold and worn and beautiful (dare I say, like a diamond in the rough?...  Oh, God. I hate myself.) But when I picked it up, I just knew. It feels nice and weighted in your hand, and it’ll look amazing on Jay’s wrist. 

So, I wrapped it up tonight. I hope he loves it. He will. I just know it. 

 

Merry Christmas, 

Carlos Oscar 

  
  
  


 

///

 

 

 

_ December 26th _

 

Sorry I didn’t write last night! I didn’t have time! It was a pretty nice Christmas, even if we did have to go sing carols with the rest of Auradon Prep. Afterwards, we met in the girls room and exchanged gifts and got a tiny bit drunk. But the good kind of drunk, when you’re not trying to block anything out or numb any pain. This was the warm, bubbly kind. 

Mal actually smiled when she unwrapped her spray paints (I have good color taste, apparently… it was just black, purple, and green). Evie threw her arms around me and kissed my cheek a whole bunch of times when I showed her the fabric. 

But I think my favorite reaction was Jay’s. He took the bracelet out slowly, turning it over. And then he said, “this is from Agrabah, isn’t it? I recognize the engravings…” 

And when I nodded and told him that it was most likely the very first sultan’s, he just kinda stared at me with this wide-eyed, floored expression. And then he said - and I quote - “holy fuck, de Vil. I think I’m gonna pass out.” 

He’d never truly owned gold before. And now he’s got a whole bracelet. A royal bracelet. A treasure for my treasure. And it sounds cheesy and stupid, but I’m hungover and kind of sore (don’t ask) and I don’t care.

 

Oh, oh, and Jay got me a puppy! I know, right, insane, I cried a little. But she’s a baby Dalmation, her name is Havoc - yes, from Shakespeare -  (“Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs of war") - all that jazz. But I love her. She’s sitting on my chest right now. Dude is very protective of her; he hasn’t left her side and insists on sleeping right next to her, which means next to me, too. I’m not complaining. Oh, yeah, Jay is asleep next to me, too. He’s kinda pretty hot when he sleeps. 

 

And yes. He’s wearing his bracelet. I never thought of myself as “happy” or “content”... but maybe things are changing. Maybe I am. 

At least for right now. 

 

Happy New Year, 

Carlos de Vil 

 


End file.
